Oh, Look at the bulls! Wait.... We don't have any bulls!!
April 20, 2016
I stared out over our pasture half awake waiting for my coffee (aka life juice so that I can do the whole walking, talking, functioning like a normal person bit) to brew. The fog was just starting to dissipate, my hens were out and about in their run and the bulls were running along the back fence line “They’d be sort of pretty if they weren’t so big.” I pondered as I watched them. The kids were sitting around the table eating their breakfast and as the coffee pot just got to the point where I could at least get one cup out of it I turned to grab my coffee cup and froze mid movement as my eyes refocused on the bulls….. Ummmmm we don’t have bulls! In my moment of realization three other sets of little eyes had followed my gaze. All hell broke loose.
If you don't have little girls, or nieces you may not understand. Little girls have a flare for drama and when I say flare I am truly putting it lightly. My middle daughter threw open the sliding glass door and our three big dogs took it upon themselves to defend our honor. Thankfully for them, (and me) there was a fence in between the pasture and the back yard.
I can honestly say that between the screams and barking it took me a full minute to really realize our situation. I stared longingly at the coffee pot as I was dragged by three sets of little hands to the front yard to where the bulls were heading. We stepped out onto the porch just as the beasts ran out our side pasture and into the street.
We live out in the country, however we still live close enough to other people that this couldn’t be good. I had to weigh my options… quick. They were still too close for my comfort BUT I knew that there was a bus stop down the road and I had to figure out something quick.
Despite the shrieking of my children I left the fenced area as soon as the bulls got to a comfortable distance away and proceeded to run towards the rodeo neighbor’s house in hopes that he could handle the situation. Let me paint the scene for you: Wearing yoga pants stuffed into my cowboy boots, my husband’s way to big for me flannel shirt, and hair that I hadn’t even looked at (so basically picture a troll's hair only brown) I was running down the road. Mid run I hear even louder screaming coming from the direction of my yard and glanced over my shoulder just in time to see our golden lab running past me charging the bulls. I will not tell you what I said at this point in time because it was foul and not appropriate for everyone's ears but I'm certain you can imagine. So now instead of running to the neighbors house I was running after our dog who was in turn chasing bulls..... fan freaking tastic. All I will say is thank goodness for once in her life Goldie listened to me and finally stopped a good half mile down the road. I caught up with her just in time to see a big truck block the road ahead and a man waving as he threw open his trailer and they ran inside. As simple as that.
So so far that morning I had chased my dog,
Who in turn was chasing bulls,
in my pajamas,
before I'd had my first cup of coffee….
No Talkie before coffee... this is only one of the many instances that our farm animals (and our neighbors') have proven they do not care.
Dear Farm Animals,
Not cool. No seriously, not cool. Get With the Program!
The woman who has four children and will be seriously deranged without her coffee